How to have a friendship with someone who has PTSD

 http://www.giftfromwithin.org/index.html

Imagine yourself being in a panic state for days on end. That is what it's like. Decision making is difficult, anger is on the surface, ability to communicate skewed by the panic state. Everything revolves around the panic, and that's it.

Not a very good scenario for friendship right? But if that person is really a friend, patience is a virtue. PTSD takes years to get under control, so if you want to remain friends, you gotta learn about it.

Your friend needs you during this time, as isolation is a way of coping with not being able to deal effectively with daily living. They need to go places, have dinner with you and just feel safe with another human being. It won't be pretty, but again... your friend needs company.

Your friend needs someone to talk to about what they are experiencing and not just a shrink. Building trust comes hard but it is imperative to your friends healing process. The trust breach that occurs during the healing process often leaves PSTD sufferers pretty much alone most the time. Make specific dates, begin doing a weekly activity with your friend to help them build trust in others again. Your friend has no idea how to be "normal", and will not just snap out of it. Find things to do and places to go where your friend tends to be more relaxed.

Try really listening, even taking notes, to what your friend is talking about. Somewhere is the ranting you will find what is really on their mind. The stream of consciousness type talking takes patients, but in there somewhere is what your friend is trying to tell someone who will care enough to understand.

Try active listening. Summarize what your friend has said, and repeat back to them what you hear them saying. This will help clarify your friends thoughts and feelings about the topic and about your friendship.

PTSD was first called "shell shock", a state of shock induced by military members after battle. It was real, but often overlooked. Many shell shocked military members were labeled cowards. Many deserted. In Viet Nam, many self medicated and things got worse... they became drug addicts. The problem is that there are no outward signs for the wounds the PTSD suffer carries. Below is a link I think does a great job just summarizing this Disorder

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Posttraumatic_stress_disorder

"Somethings, missing, but i don't know how to fix it", are words from John Mayer song and that is exactly what happens to the PTSD sufferer. They no longer have their abilities to go through daily life and they know it.

If this person goes to the doctor, often medication will be prescribed to try to get them over the hump. But often the medication does not work as prescribed, but since the person is not thinking logically, they don't go back to the doctor to try a new medication. The strong medicated PTSD person has a new problem added to the mix. Medication just helps to dissipate anxiety, it doesn't heal.

The best advice I have heard from a psychiatrist is this:

"Treat PTSD as a major wound that needs to be healed. It will take a long time perhaps 5-10 years. Find a place to protect yourself from continually making mistakes that compound the problem. Give yourself a break and just heal."

Most suffers do not have the luxury of this type of healing due to responsibilities and lack of support. .

So if your friend is hurting, create this healing place for them. They may need to move in with you. They may need not to work for a while. They really need a friend who will just love them for who they are and not exert a lot of pressure during the healing process.